Two interviews in one day...

I got the Michael Jackson tickets! My boyfriend, sister, and I are going during the last week of the month.

I had two job interviews today for the NYS Keyboard Specialist position. I told the internship that I had a doctor's appointment. I was nervous; I kept waking up last night and was thinking about what I would say on my interviews. The first interview at campus residences went relatively well, from what I could tell. I felt that I gave good answers. The second interview, which was at the dental school, didn't go as well, as the lady in charge told me that I was overqualified because of my college degree. After she said that I knew the interview was pretty much shot. There were a lot of applicants for both jobs which sucks. At least I am getting practice interviewing.

So the internship is going okay but they haven't found a placement for me yet. I told them that I wanted something clerical and close to home. They were thinking about placing me somewhere relatively far from home. I might end up having to go there if they can't find something else. Most people have their placements already, and me not going in today is probably not speeding up my placement. Oh well, the interviews were important. If I could land a job with the State and make it through the probation period, I'd be set.

My grandmother (dad's mom) came back to NY from the place in Oregon she was staying at, her permanent home is in AZ. I hope I get to see her a couple of times during her visit.

Job Issues/Support

I had an upsetting phone conversation with my aunt this morning. It was about my internship. I am thinking of looking for a competitive job while I am at this internship. I finally found out some ideas about where the internship wants to place me. They were thinking of placing me somewhere with senior citizens doing arts and crafts. I just don't think that that will lead me in the path I want to go in. I've decided that I want to stick with clerical work. I am going to re-take the keyboard specialist exam in December. In the meantime, I want to work on my resume and go to the one-stop employment center and take classes on Microsoft Excel (it's been ten years since I've used it) and Access (which I've never used). My aunt doesn't think I should do this and she upset me because she was saying that this internship was my only chance in a roundabout way. I love my aunt very much, but like my relationship with my mom, I have to keep boundaries and be careful of what I discuss with her. I was in tears by the middle of the phone call and then I told her another call was coming in because she would not stop her 'lecture'. Sigh.

I understand everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but that does not mean it is ok to bash someone's confidence into a million pieces. I am looking for support when I talk to my boyfriend, friends, and family. Sometimes my family is not my strongest support system. Speaking of support systems, my therapist Sally has been on vacation again. I haven't seen her in almost three weeks. I really could use therapy now, and I am hoping that when I do go back to her, it will be effective. The last two sessions I had with her ended early because they lacked direction and I didn't know what to say. I want to establish direction and purpose to my therapy; I'd like to work on some issues instead of just talking about daily life. I have plenty of issues to talk about, just have to wait until October 1st.

I am excited to purchase tickets to the Michael Jackson 'This Is It' movie on Sunday. I have to call my local movie theater and make sure they will have them there.

Michael Jackson - Billie Jean

Death of a world icon

Yesterday I was deeply saddened by the news that Michael Jackson had passed away. I was in my dining room, had just finished dinner, when my sister called. I am glad I heard it from her, as she knew how big of fan that I was. I believe I still have the vinyl Thriller record album somewhere at my parents house. I had Bad on cassette tape. And the very first cd I ever bought was Dangerous. At first I couldn't believe it, that he had died. I had thought that he wouldn't pass on until I was in my fifties. I always thought he'd be around for a long time. "Jam" and "Human Nature" were two of my favorite songs by him.

I remember trying to sleep but not being able to filter out the music coming from my living room as my dad played and re-played a videotape of "We Are the World." Every Halloween, I'd bring out my Thriller record and play "Thriller" for the trick-or-treaters. My dad remembered this, as he called me last night to see how I was doing, assuming that I had heard the news. He said he remembered me playing "Thriller" and knew that I was probably upset. He was right. I am pretty choked up over the whole thing. After hearing the news, I was distracted for the whole evening. I woke up this morning and then the realization that it really happened hit me. It wasn't a good feeling.

Just as I had watched the funeral proceedings of Princess Diana, I want to be able to see the public ceremony for Michael Jackson on TV. May he rest in peace.