It has been a long time since I last posted. Things are going well with my internship, I am getting to work on time without a problem. Waking up in the morning isn't really that big of a task- I used to have a lot more trouble getting up early. I had a car accident recently though- one that I feel completely stupid about. I hit a curb in the parking lot before going to work and I hit it with such force that my airbags deployed. My car is drive-able, but I just won't have airbags from now on. Accidents happen. It just makes me question going to my internship, all the wear and tear on my car. I also got a call from the cat shelter and they would like me to come in to help with socialization. It would be something to do if I didn't have the internship and I would have time to look for a more local job. I don't know. I just don't think it would be possible for me to be going to the internship three days a week, therapy another day, and then the cat shelter. All of those trips are about 45 min away from my house.
I am meeting with my job coach tomorrow (after my internship) and most likely will talk to her about this.
I found out that when my boyfriend and I get called for couples housing, we will most likely be able to have a two bedroom apartment. That is pretty good news.
My friend is looking for her own apartment now. She has poor credit; hopefully she will be able to find a place. I would be very upset if she moved to Florida with her mother.
Showing posts with label cat shelter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cat shelter. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Kittens!
This morning was a rough one, I had some trouble waking up at 7:30. I was supposed to get up at 7, but then I tried for 7:30 and finally I woke up at 7:45. I wanted to have left my house by 7:45. I didn't get out the door until 8:05 am. I went to go volunteer at the cat shelter and they like to start work at around 8:30. I didn't get there until 9. Hopefully next week I will be able to get up earlier so I can get there on time.
I was assigned the 'kitten room.' Boy was I lucky. The kittens are so adorable; this one kitten I liked, Amanda, was all black with the most beautiful green eyes. She was born March 25th. There was a sign on the door with their names and when they were born. It is a lot of work to volunteer at this cat shelter, there is really a lot into the cleaning system there. Different litter, different food, each room has its own mop and broom assigned specifically for that room. I guess the most difficult task was the mopping of the floor, as they want you to dry the floor with a towel as you mop it so the kittens don't get too much into the cleaning fluid. Amanda was very vocal and demanded attention. She also tried to run out of the room several times, and succeeded twice. I have a feeling she might be adopted by the time I get back there next week. I held her up to my shoulder for a while, she really liked to be held. I wish I could adopt her!
So that was my excitement for the day today. My mood has been better lately with much less anxiety. My housemates are not talking to one another, apparently a huge fight went down when I was away this past weekend. My house counselor called a meeting today to try and resolve things between the two of them. It became clear that things will probably be different from now on.
I was assigned the 'kitten room.' Boy was I lucky. The kittens are so adorable; this one kitten I liked, Amanda, was all black with the most beautiful green eyes. She was born March 25th. There was a sign on the door with their names and when they were born. It is a lot of work to volunteer at this cat shelter, there is really a lot into the cleaning system there. Different litter, different food, each room has its own mop and broom assigned specifically for that room. I guess the most difficult task was the mopping of the floor, as they want you to dry the floor with a towel as you mop it so the kittens don't get too much into the cleaning fluid. Amanda was very vocal and demanded attention. She also tried to run out of the room several times, and succeeded twice. I have a feeling she might be adopted by the time I get back there next week. I held her up to my shoulder for a while, she really liked to be held. I wish I could adopt her!
So that was my excitement for the day today. My mood has been better lately with much less anxiety. My housemates are not talking to one another, apparently a huge fight went down when I was away this past weekend. My house counselor called a meeting today to try and resolve things between the two of them. It became clear that things will probably be different from now on.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
To me it did
Tonight I went to a NAMI peer-to-peer meeting and shared some of my story of what happened to my life when I got sick. The emotions I felt while I was sharing were pretty strong. Honestly for the past ten years I've been trying so hard to live a "semi-normal" life. It is frustrating to keep making attempts to find a job or volunteer and not succeed at it. I went to the cat shelter yesterday and was overwhelmed with all the tasks they want me to do. There are about thirty cats roaming around three rooms. I think I am going to call back the lady and ask her if I can do the socialization day instead. Right now I am dealing with some anxiety and trying to get back on track. I do want to have something productive to do, so I am going to see if I can still volunteer.
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin right now, meaning, I am not comfortable living my life. I am afraid that I will be a failure to my family and to myself. I wish my dad could tell my grandmother that I got a job, or something else that would make her proud. My late grandfather was happy that I was such a good granddaughter, but I was able to help him out a lot. My one remaining grandmother is in Arizona and I cannot help her. My cousin, the shining star of the family, just passed the bar and is a lawyer now. She was the first grandchild to get married too. My grandparents on my mom's side were like parents to me. I feel bad that my mom's parents didn't even get to meet my current boyfriend. My grandfather would be happy that I am no longer with my ex. One of the last conversations my grandfather and I had was if I was seeing my ex a lot at the time. I told him "just once in a while." He said "good."
All I ever wanted was to make my family proud of me. I guess it shouldn't matter. But to me it did.
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin right now, meaning, I am not comfortable living my life. I am afraid that I will be a failure to my family and to myself. I wish my dad could tell my grandmother that I got a job, or something else that would make her proud. My late grandfather was happy that I was such a good granddaughter, but I was able to help him out a lot. My one remaining grandmother is in Arizona and I cannot help her. My cousin, the shining star of the family, just passed the bar and is a lawyer now. She was the first grandchild to get married too. My grandparents on my mom's side were like parents to me. I feel bad that my mom's parents didn't even get to meet my current boyfriend. My grandfather would be happy that I am no longer with my ex. One of the last conversations my grandfather and I had was if I was seeing my ex a lot at the time. I told him "just once in a while." He said "good."
All I ever wanted was to make my family proud of me. I guess it shouldn't matter. But to me it did.
Friday, May 15, 2009
What to say
I have not heard anything from the cat shelter I applied to volunteer at. I called yesterday and the secretary told me that my application was forwarded to the person in charge of volunteers and that was all the information she could give me.
Tonight my parents, aunt and I are going out to dinner as a belated Mother's Day dinner. My sister won't be coming along because she is going to get her hair done. I am not really strictly dieting anymore, but I am going to avoid something fried because I always feel unhealthy after eating that kind of stuff. I am going to join a gym next week. My doctor told me my target heart rate and how to start out on the treadmill.
Next week, my sister and her new boyfriend will be going out to dinner with me and my boyfriend. My sister hasn't told him that my boyfriend and I are mentally ill and on disability. She said I could say that I am looking for a job and my boyfriend can say he is in school. The problem with saying that I am looking for a job is that in the future he might ask if I found anything/had any luck and if I keep saying no that might eventually get uncomfortable. If I get offered the internship and I take it, I'll be able to say I am doing that. Sally seems to think that I should take the internship despite the financial loss I will suffer, just so I can get job experience. That may be a good idea.
Tonight my parents, aunt and I are going out to dinner as a belated Mother's Day dinner. My sister won't be coming along because she is going to get her hair done. I am not really strictly dieting anymore, but I am going to avoid something fried because I always feel unhealthy after eating that kind of stuff. I am going to join a gym next week. My doctor told me my target heart rate and how to start out on the treadmill.
Next week, my sister and her new boyfriend will be going out to dinner with me and my boyfriend. My sister hasn't told him that my boyfriend and I are mentally ill and on disability. She said I could say that I am looking for a job and my boyfriend can say he is in school. The problem with saying that I am looking for a job is that in the future he might ask if I found anything/had any luck and if I keep saying no that might eventually get uncomfortable. If I get offered the internship and I take it, I'll be able to say I am doing that. Sally seems to think that I should take the internship despite the financial loss I will suffer, just so I can get job experience. That may be a good idea.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Some Progress
Today I made some progress in my quest for finding something to do with my time. I went to the all-cat shelter that I had found and filled out a volunteer application. The lady showed me around and the cats are not in cages. They are in a couple of rooms with access to a screened outside area. I saw a beautiful tabby like my Katrina and a beautiful black cat like Spooky, but not as big as Spooky. Spooky is overweight, she eats almost all the food and that's why Katrina remains so tiny. Hopefully I will hear something within the next week or so about starting to volunteer there. It is pretty much right down the road from my therapist Sally, so I put down Thursdays as one of the days I'd like to volunteer.
I am pleased to see that there is a new antipsychotic approved by the FDA. I just read the article that is from my schizophrenia news link. I am not going to risk getting sick again by trying a new drug which might not work. I also read that the new med causes a slight weight gain, which I'd like to avoid. But, if my current drug ever fails me, I know now that there is something new to try.
I was feeling kind of depressed today at my therapy appointment. I spoke a little about why it could be, but I think it is a combination of things. The weather certainly is not helping. It is raining, again.
My sister and her new boyfriend wants to have dinner with me and my boyfriend. I have to speak with her about what she has told her boyfriend, if anything, about me and my boyfriend. Hopefully she has filled him in that we are on disability, or at least that I am. I don't really want there to be an awkwardness at the dinner table if he asks what I do.
I have a number of errands to do tomorrow. At least they will keep me busy. I just got home about fifty minutes ago and I already am tempted to take a nap. I won't let myself do it.
I am pleased to see that there is a new antipsychotic approved by the FDA. I just read the article that is from my schizophrenia news link. I am not going to risk getting sick again by trying a new drug which might not work. I also read that the new med causes a slight weight gain, which I'd like to avoid. But, if my current drug ever fails me, I know now that there is something new to try.
I was feeling kind of depressed today at my therapy appointment. I spoke a little about why it could be, but I think it is a combination of things. The weather certainly is not helping. It is raining, again.
My sister and her new boyfriend wants to have dinner with me and my boyfriend. I have to speak with her about what she has told her boyfriend, if anything, about me and my boyfriend. Hopefully she has filled him in that we are on disability, or at least that I am. I don't really want there to be an awkwardness at the dinner table if he asks what I do.
I have a number of errands to do tomorrow. At least they will keep me busy. I just got home about fifty minutes ago and I already am tempted to take a nap. I won't let myself do it.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Standstill
I haven't posted in a while because not much has really happened in my life the past week. I have not heard about any more employment opportunities. The internship people have yet to contact me, though I might contact them soon to see when they are going to make their decision. Basically, I have very little to do and the constant rain has not been too inspiring.
On a positive note, I found an all-cat animal shelter that is not too far from home. I love cats and have wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter for quite some time but haven't been able to because of my dog allergy. I am allergic to their saliva and their dander. Sometimes I have trouble breathing in a house with a dog that triggers me. I like dogs, and I wish I wasn't allergic. I am going to stop by the cat shelter on Thursday, because I'll be in the neighboring town for therapy that day. I want to fill out an application and start that as soon as possible.
I saw the movie The Soloist on Friday night. It is about a homeless schizophrenic man that plays the cello and is discovered by a newspaper reporter. I thought it was a pretty good movie but I could not relate to his hearing voices. I've read about a study of schizophrenia patients that found that 70% hear voices. Seeing this movie made me realize how terrifying they can be. I am terrified by my paranoia and delusions. Haven't had that in about four years, knock on wood.
Hopefully, one of these days I'll have a set weekly schedule besides therapy and case managers. It is too tempting to sleep when I don't have something that I have to do.
On a positive note, I found an all-cat animal shelter that is not too far from home. I love cats and have wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter for quite some time but haven't been able to because of my dog allergy. I am allergic to their saliva and their dander. Sometimes I have trouble breathing in a house with a dog that triggers me. I like dogs, and I wish I wasn't allergic. I am going to stop by the cat shelter on Thursday, because I'll be in the neighboring town for therapy that day. I want to fill out an application and start that as soon as possible.
I saw the movie The Soloist on Friday night. It is about a homeless schizophrenic man that plays the cello and is discovered by a newspaper reporter. I thought it was a pretty good movie but I could not relate to his hearing voices. I've read about a study of schizophrenia patients that found that 70% hear voices. Seeing this movie made me realize how terrifying they can be. I am terrified by my paranoia and delusions. Haven't had that in about four years, knock on wood.
Hopefully, one of these days I'll have a set weekly schedule besides therapy and case managers. It is too tempting to sleep when I don't have something that I have to do.
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