Good News and Bad News...

So, I have good news and bad news. Before I get into that, I will say that I had a nice trip to NYC and will write about it when I find out if I can get some pictures that my boyfriend took on his phone. He knows someone with an iPhone, so there might be a way I can have them e-mailed to me.

The good news arrived in my mailbox today. I got the results from the state civil service exam I took back in November. My test score was a 95 out of 100. This means that I am probably near the top of the list for interview appointments.

The bad news arrived on the telephone today with my therapist Jeanne. She is leaving her practice in my county, and is not getting another office. She will work full-time in Queens and that is a very far trip for me. It is not practical. She is trying to refer me to someone else, but most of the contacts she has are far away from me. She broke the news to me about half-way through the session.

I was discussing my life with Jeanne on the phone today and she said (not the first time she's said) that I need to make more friends. My best friend isn't really much of a friend anymore and my sister is not around lately. My mother is narcissistic according to Jeanne, and is not consistent in the way she treats me, so I best be keeping my distance from her. I have friends on the internet that I correspond with, but Jeanne says I need friends that I will be able to spend time with. My life is very much a lonely one when I am not with my boyfriend. This can lead to sadness/depression which I have a history of.

I cannot believe that Jeanne is leaving. She could not find another local office to work out of. This is pretty devastating to me, as she is the best therapist that I have had thus far in my life. Her leaving is making me a bit concerned, because Dr. K alone doesn't cut it for me. We never go into any issues, they stay at the surface and nothing really gets close to being resolved, nor do I feel relieved from my discussions with him. I am pretty much left with nothing right now. She is quitting her practice at the end of the month. I will have to start all over again with someone new, pretty much throwing four years with a good therapist out the window. Not only do I feel scared, I also feel a sense of panic. Not many therapists take Medicare/Medicaid. And certainly not many that take my insurance can treat dissociation.

So on the same day I find out great news, I also find out terrible news. I guess life has a way of balancing itself out. Hopefully next time I have good news, I will be able to truly enjoy it.