ASAP

So, it's September 11th. Back in '01, I was released from the psych ward on this day. My Geodon wasn't working well, so they increased the dosage. They also gave me Ativan to take three times a day. I was an anxious mess and then the terrorist attacks happened. I was so scared and anxious I was almost shaking. Everywhere I went shortly after that day, I saw American flags on people's car antennae. I was worried that the sudden outbreak of patriotism would anger the terrorists even more than they already were and they would attack again almost immediately. I was so scared, I spent much of my time in my room with the radio off. I didn't want to hear the national anthem played for the millionth time. It just caused more anxiety. For the first time in my life, I wished that I didn't live in New York. I really should not have been released from the hospital as soon as I was. I ended up back in there a month later, after an overdose of Geodon. (I took 17 Geodon pills) The anxiety was so bad I thought that if I took more it would subside. It didn't.

On a more uplifting note, in just a few days I will be on the grounds of Pilgrim State Psychiatric Center handing in my couples housing application with my boyfriend. We've been working on gathering documentation to hand in with our applications for quite some time now. I cannot wait for the day that they call and say they have an opening that they'd like us to consider. It will
definitely be a positive change in my life to move in with him. He is a wonderful boyfriend and I always enjoy his company. I am getting some close-to-new furniture from my grandmother when she moves. A set of his and hers dressers and an end table. I am really psyched about getting her fiber optic Christmas tree. I've always wanted to to be able to decorate my own place for the holidays. We might not have our place by Christmas, but I am crossing my fingers that we hear something asap.